you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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