You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
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