waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
