it wasn't lemon gatorade
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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