I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
