Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
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