i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
