If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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