we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
