The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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