Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
