Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
