i can't believe i had my finger in that
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
