You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
