So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
