so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
