oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
