Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
