Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
