I'm eating all of the evidence.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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