So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
your room smells of hookers.
And success
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Randomize
