eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
