brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Randomize
