but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
