gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
