yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
