Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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