It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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