yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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