Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
