We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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