This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
