Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
