It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
