the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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