I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
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