could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
