I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
