His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
