I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
