At least make sure they are 18
Why
He is an equal opportunity slut.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
