Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
wow bdsm is so cute
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
