My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
