So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
third nipple confirmed
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
