Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
