I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
