I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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