Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Come on in and take your pants off
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