Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
