Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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