Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
